I hadn’t heard anything about this so-called winter storm until I went into work yesterday, and then it was all anyone could talk about.  I don’t put stock in such mutterings; I believe it when I see it!

Well, for what it is worth, this is what I saw when I peeked out the door this morning:

I can’t shake the feeling that this winter will never end; there is a strange part of me that feels like it’s always been winter, winter forever.  It is winter madness, I tell you!

Plans for this snow day include :

† catching up on phone calls (semi-done; no one answered and I left a lot of voicemails)

† giving this “breakfast cookie” that I’ve been hearing so much about on various fitness blogs a try;  it’s obviously a “play around with it until you find a version you like” recipe - mine below includes oats, flax meal, a sprinkle of vanilla Spirutein, peanut butter, unsweetened Almond Breeze milk, cinnamon, cranberries, and walnuts.  I didn’t add any sweeteners, so I can’t claim it tastes like “raw cookie dough” as everyone else does…but it gave me enough energy to spend an hour shoveling snow so I guess I can’t complain.  I think I will try it again with a ripe banana mixed in and maybe a plop of Greek yogurt and a drizzle of raw honey next time.

† prepare some meals for the rest of the week; I am really trying to cut down on all the eating out that I do for lunch…I mean… think of all the money I am wasting on food when it could be going toward useless frippery! One must have priorities, you know.  I will be cooking a big pot of beans to use for various meals, and I somehow have to incorporate every rotting vegetable in the fridge into recipe gold using some sort of vague alchemical process.
We will see how that goes.  I think I will also make these “happy vegan” carob cookies…not because I am vegan, or even vegetarian…just because they are delicious.

† various and sundry household chores, exercise and work on a few projects…one in particular that I keep putting off because I don’t feel confident enough to even start it.  Mistakes are ok, though!  That is what I have to keep telling myself over and over.  It is a wonder I ever get anything done, truthfully.

Some things right now that are making me happy right now (I do have to remember to be thankful, especially when I get to feeling down as I have lately.  Life’s really not so bad, yeah?  )…

The Man helping me try to find friends on craig’s list  - “they’re all so SAD!“  † Xena on netflix during the treadmill † neighbors who wake up before me and get most of the snow shoveling out of the way ( I should probably bring her some cookies!) † kind librarians who run into a mutual acquaintance and inquire about me, noting “I haven’t seen S- in a while…she checks out the most UNUSUAL books!” † gala darling’s radical self love project, which I think is a marvelous idea † Ólafur Arnald’s Found Songs - the Icelandic neoclassicial musician recorded a song a day and made each track available via his Twitter; you can download  them (for free)  here, and they are all quite beautiful † Vladimir Lipetskih’s and Kevin Cooley’s stunning photgraphic images…I suppose if one is stuck in a perpetual, ceaseless season of winter, one may as well surround themselves with loveliness, whatever form it may take.

I think I have probably convinced myself that I am a gloomy, grey weather lady; that mists and fog and eternal sunless mornings are the stuff of perfect days.  And maybe to an extent I am.  But I think my body actually needs the sunlight, and growing green things and balmy breezes every once in a while…because I tell you, I am starting to feel awfully grim, and not in a good way.

As a matter of fact, I was just reading over at Morbid Anatomy about “Blue Monday, The Most Depressing Day of the Year”.   She mentions that it was this past Monday, the 25th of January, but according to wikipedia, the  date falls on the third Monday of January, which would have made it not this past Monday, but the one before - January 18th.

They’ve even got a formula to calculate this date, using factors such as “weather conditions, debt level (the difference between debt accumulated and our ability to pay), time since Christmas, time since failing our new year’s resolutions, low motivational levels and feeling of a need to take action”, but a source notes that the equations “…fail even to make mathematical sense on their own terms.”

Either way - this week or the week before, or heck… every day of this past month  - has seemed full to the brim of bleak melancholic moodiness, if you ask me.  2010, what happened to you??

Ah, well.  It doesn’t do to wallow.  Spring is around the corner (sort of), and hey, there’s plenty of interesting things going on.  For example, this month’s full moon is apparently a “Supermoon” , and according to astrologer Lynn Hayes, “It’s not only a powerful Moon astrologically, but it’s at perigee, meaning it’s at its closest proximity to the Earth.  This is why it is so big and beautiful, but it’s also more powerful now.” She goes on to say that ” This Full Moon will stoke the fires of our inner aggression and challenge us to direct that fire wisely.”

Hm.  I wonder what that means for excruciatingly passive aggressive folks, like myself??

I suppose until such a time as the land is restored to a state of verdancy and the flora and herbaceous things start to flourish again, I will immerse myself in the works of Margreit Smulders; her hauntingly elaborate tableaux are both  ethereal and lush…narcotic,  intoxicating.  Like a Baudelaire poem come to life.

Beauty

I am fair, O mortals! like a dream carved in stone,
And my breast where each one in turn has bruised himself
Is made to inspire in the poet a love
As eternal and silent as matter.

On a throne in the sky, a mysterious sphinx,
I join a heart of snow to the whiteness of swans;
I hate movement for it displaces lines,
And never do I weep and never do I laugh.

Poets, before my grandiose poses,
Which I seem to assume from the proudest statues,
Will consume their lives in austere study;

For I have, to enchant those submissive lovers,
Pure mirrors that make all things more beautiful:
My eyes, my large, wide eyes of eternal brightness!

— Charles Baudelaire

After a week and a half of viral nastiness, my computer has been wiped clean and reformatted, thanks to The Man.  I am a lucky gal; I don’t think I would have been able to figure that out for myself.  Or…even if I had…I don’t think I would have ever gotten around to it, and things would have just gotten worse and worse.

In other news:

† I made a batch of this chai concentrate last night - what a great idea!  And a delicious treat to have on hand for sweet tooth emergencies.

† I watched My Name is Bruce; it was pretty terrible in a fun, fan-winking sort of way.  Tee hee!  Oh, Bruce.  Still, it got me through an hour and a half of treadmill.

† I have had two visits from the landlord in one week; the first, to replace our toilet, which I had not realized was broken.  The second, to replace our stove which has been broken for two years.  You mean gas stoves are supposed to light without the aid of a candle clicker, or matches?  You don’t say!  Thank GOODNESS for generous co-workers with time off from work who can day-sit for the cat that we are not supposed to have.

† Two years ago Target stopped carrying my favourite underwear (Gilligan O’Malley cotton hipsters) and I have been searching out a suitable replacement ever since.  I happened to find something even better - also at Target - with good hip and bottom coverage and a nice sturdy cotton material; and wouldn’t you know!  They almost never have them in stock.  So, friends and family if you are out and about and happen to see a few packages, please, please, please pick  them up for me!

The details:
Brand: Hanes
Product: Low Rise Cotton Hipsters
Size: 6 (medium) / Colour: BLACK

My poor laptop seems to have picked up a particularly awful virus, and I suspect it is mainly my fault for downloading things from questionable places.   Oh dear.

Still…I guess if I have to look on the bright side, staying off the computer will force me to go outside for a walk, as the temperature has risen to the point where I would daresay it is almost early spring-like!  I also have some pilates dvds from the library and stacks upon stacks of books and magazines to pore through.  Not to mention several knitting projects, and I guess if I start to feel really crazy, I could clean…

HAHA!

It would be easy enough to sink into the dark depression of despair and doom during this drab, dull time of year…as a matter of fact, I think I am mere footsteps from it even now!  Some bright spots of positivity illuminating these sunless winter days have been:

† giddy phone calls from friends, announcing “it’s going to snow tonight” (in Florida!)

† full service massages from The Man, with all the bells and whistles

† unexpected packages, full of tea, music and random delights -  (thank you BGF, it arrived today!)

†  my Converse One Star Rose Burnout Scarf that I picked up at Target for a song, on a whim; it’s so pretty, and I had no idea it would get so much use!

† A new to me, but relatively older band …very pretty jingly jangly shoegazey early to mid 80’s pop, but sort of on the darker sider.
For Against. I am enjoying them immensely!

† This illustration, by Fritz Baumgarten - I mean gosh - this is really just wonderful and makes me happy just to look at it!